The New, The Old, The Now! Starting Ain’t Easy…

The first day of school, moving to a new area; the start of something new…or old. Such situations can be easy and/or difficult. Having to assimilate into a new culture, make new friends, and finding our place are complex situations out of our control. But, on the other hand, it’s like getting a new you! An opportunity to reform or transform in your own way. Start over and sculpt a life into whatever you want regardless of what happened prior; it’s a process.

I can’t tell how many times I’ve had to start over. Within four years, I’ve moved 6 times; five of those were internationally (US-FRA, FR-GER, GER-US, US-FIN, FIN-US). Think about your own moves, how many times have you had to start over? Not just moving but starting a new job or school, moving, or even break ups. They’re everywhere. It’s inevitable that we will have to start from scratch and the best part is the endless hope of what may come.

When I got accepted into graduate school in France, nothing could stop my head from getting any bigger and higher in the clouds. After close to two decades of trying, I was finally moving to Europe. Not only Europe, but France. Deep in the south, a small city named Bayonne, situated a 10 minute car ride from the beach and two hours south of Bordeaux. What made it the best was that I would be, literally, sleeping in a castle! I’m talking old cobblestone streets and houses so close you could play catch from one bedroom to the next. And a large cathedral sitting right in the middle of it all. Classic. French. Digs. And that was going to be my home for the next two years. To make this new experience even better was where I was at in life before I left….

Bayonne, France

For several months, I was dating the most beautiful woman I had ever met; German made with quality from head to toe, inside and out. At times, when I would watch her go to work it was like watching Da Vinci paint or Mozart compose…absolutely sensational. Furthermore, I worked with the best boutique hotel in Tahoe. Everyone at the Coachman was top shelf from top to bottom. The business gave me so many wonderful memories and never stopped short of encouraging me to give it my all at work and my dreams. When I told the owner I wanted to model a business in honor or what he have given me, he said, “slide me your business plan and I’ll help whatever way I can.” The GM showed me how the business worked and never held any secrets and the Asst. GM was my dude that always chatted with me about fixie’s. I had a family at work, and work that was my family. That’s how I ended up with a tattoo with the logo and the initials of all the staff when I left. They are my squad!

The Coachman

But there’s two sides to every coin and starting over is no different. Along with excitement is the agony of anxiety from the unknown. The uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what will happen or not understanding what is going on. The embarrassment of making honest mistakes despite how small the consequences. Think about a time when you were introduced into a new group of friends, learning to play with new teammates, or even going on a first date… I can’t tell you how many times I fucked up and had no idea. I remember one time I was sitting at an ex’s parents table eating dinner. Unknown to me, I kept sniffing and not wiping or blowing my nose the entire dinner. Later that evening when we got home I guess I was sniffing and my lady asked me, “are you getting sick?” When I replied no she asked why I kept sniffing. I explained that I didn’t even recognize that I was going it and she continued to tell me how I was sniffing throughout dinner and that she was slightly embarrassed because her parents were giving her and I funny looks. When I asked why she didn’t tell me, she said she didn’t want to make anything of it. I felt like a complete dumbass because when I thought back I completely remember doing it. To make matters worse, when at university I remember a lot of my classmates (most from Europe) always carrying little packets of tissues and blowing their noses. NOW it all made sense. As the light bulb went off in my head, the embarassment slapped me in the face. The rest of the night, I felt like a complete dunce over something so small.

The Last Supper

Regardless of the situation starting anew is a doubled edged sword. The good and bad, up and down, peanut butter and jelly! I know, the last one doesn’t make any sense but it was funny and you’re smiling 🙂 Plus who doesn’t love a good PB&J. One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned from constantly putting myself into new situations is that we’re going to make mistakes, but it’s ok. We get to learn something new and that is the point. Like a child learning to walk and constantly grabs onto everything to hold themselves up, an occasional fall down onto their dirty Pamper takes place. But, it’s an exploration of life in an attempt to acquire knowledge and understanding so that we learn to avoid danger in the future, hence minimizing and/or eliminating the fear of past experiences.

Starting over, fresh, and new is something that we all deal with many times over in our lifetime (New Years Resolutions 🙂 As I sit here, BACK, in Lake Tahoe California I look back at my journey back to the US and across the country for the second time. The feeling of joy and anticipation for the next chapter of my book as I drove each and every one of the 2700+ miles, but with a bit of nervousness due to the certainty of change that comes with life over time. Will I have as much fun as before? Will it feel similar to before and will I get along with friends as before? Like the trees throughout the seasons and the waves in the ocean, things will come and go. A new day is on every horizon and I have complete faith for my future. To those who are starting over, “fear is just an idea in the mind, but the danger is what is real.” Hence, keep your eyes open and head on a swivel. The future will come and the past will fade so enjoy the journey. If you get lost or stuck in the rain, beyond the cloud the sun still shines. Take care and have a wonderful day!

Boy Voyage

#Serenity #Starting #Motivation #moments #love #mindfulness